Once you have your characters in the space, you have to know what the goal of the scene between them will be. We touched on that, but make sure it’s solid in your mind now. Do you want the scene to lead to conflict? Reveal a big secret? Signal an important change?

Change is vital in any scene, even if it’s just a change in how the reader perceives a character, or it reveals something new about that character. What will be the change that occurs between your two characters in your test scene?

Once you have those thoughts clear. it’s time to think about how they physically and emotionally interact once they’re there. Again, not to craft beautiful prose at this point!

First, again, keep in mind the physical space around and between them:

• List the furnishings or obstacles—in the case of the ballroom, I’ve already established that the primary obstacles are people moving around, getting in the way, etc.
• How far apart are your two characters? In my hypothetical ballroom, they are across a large room from each other. Your characters could find themselves in a confined space, or within reach of each other—for either amorous or belligerent purposes.
• What are the most notable characteristics of the space? Think about the Gilbert example in the previous lesson. What aspects of the space will force themselves on the notice of your two characters, no matter what is going on between them?

Then, focus on the emotions each of them bring to the scene, and how those emotions will express themselves physically, verbally, and in terms of how they will perceive the space.

In the example from Venetia, where she has gone to tell Damerel that her uncle wants to take her to London—clearly hoping he will declare himself and they can live happily ever after—the change is that she goes from hopeful to despairing, that what the reader thought/hoped would happen doesn’t.

That scene depends for its effectiveness on the atmosphere of the room and the tone and words of their conversation. But don’t underestimate the importance of their movements:

She remained standing by one of the windows, but it was several minutes before Damerel came to her. The saloon seemed unfriendly, with no fire burning in the hearth, and the furniture primly arranged. They had never sat in it when Aubrey was at the Priory, but always in the library, and it still bore the appearance of a room that was never used. Venetia supposed that Imber must have led her to it either to emphasise his disapproval, or because Damerel had not yet finished his business with his agent. It was cheerless, and rather dark; but perhaps that was because heavy clouds were gathering in the sky, and it had started to mizzle.

She had begun to wonder whether she had missed Damerel, who might have set out for Undershaw by way of the road instead of taking the shorter way across country, when the door opened, and he came in, demanding: ‘Now, what in thunder has your Empress been doing to drive you from home, Admir’d Venetia?’

He spoke lightly, yet with a hint of roughness in his voice, as though her visit was an unwelcome interruption. She turned, trying to read his face, and said, with a faint smile: ‘Were you busy? You don’t sound as though you were glad to see me!’

‘I’m not glad to see you,’ he replied. ‘You shouldn’t be here, you know.’

‘So Imber seemed to think – but I didn’t care for that.’ She came slowly into the middle of the room, and paused by the table that stood there, drawing off her gloves. ‘I thought it best to come to you, rather than to wait for you to come to me. It might not be easy for us to be private, and I must consult you. Something quite unlooked-for has happened, and I need your advice, my dear friend. My uncle has come.’

The scene continues:

She felt as though the blood in her veins was slowly turning to ice. He had turned abruptly away, and walked over to the window; her eyes followed him, but she did not speak. He said harshly: ‘Yes, it’s the end of an idyll. It has been a golden autumn, hasn’t it? In another week there won’t be a leaf left hanging to the trees, though. Your uncle timed his coming well. You don’t think so, do you, my dear? But you will think it, believe me.’

She still said nothing, because she could think of nothing it was possible to say. She found it difficult even to take in the sense of what Damerel, incredibly, had said, or to disentangle the wisps of thought that jostled and contradicted each other in her brain. It was like a bad dream, in which people one knew quite well behaved fantastically, and one was powerless to escape from some dreadful doom. She lifted one hand to rub her eyes, as though she had really been dreaming. In a voice that seemed to her to belong to nightmare, because it was so quiet, and in nightmares when one tried to scream one was never able to speak above a whisper, she said: ‘Why shall I think it?’

He shrugged. ‘I could tell you, but not convince you. You’ll find out for yourself – when you’re less green, my dear, and know a little more of the world than what you have read.’

Heyer, Georgette. Venetia (Regency Romances Book 18) (pp. 256-257). Sourcebooks. Kindle Edition.

Notice that there isn’t a lot of movement going on, but what’s there is powerfully evocative. Venetia’s movements convey her uncertainty, her confusion and sadness. Damerel’s movements are sharp, almost angry. They give just enough of a sense that he is battling with himself, that he is saying things he doesn’t at heart believe. Heyer didn’t have to have him striding around, or aimlessly picking things up, or looking up and down, here and there.

Compare that to the exaggeratedly specific movements of Anna in the diving scene in Manhattan Beach. There, the movements are integral to what is happening. The change in that scene is that Anna goes from being a student to being on her way to becoming a navy diver. She also gains confidence in her ability to do so.

Example—very rough and ready

Returning to my ballroom scene. Again, this is just to give you a sense, not a pattern card! I have Anna standing about to put her foot into the ballroom and Joshua trying to get a glimpse of her through the moving crowd, spotting her, and making his way to her.

Joshua’s hands grew sweatier as he dodged the dancers weaving in and out of the figures of the dance. He had to get to Anna before anyone else. He had something very important to say to her, and he needed the opportunity to be close enough to her that it would be possible.

As he drew nearer, she bit the corner of her lower lip—a quirk well known to him, betokening her nervousness, and it made him smile. He didn’t know what she had to be nervous about. She was a titled heiress. Her dance card would be full as soon as the others noticed she was in the room.

Anna’s face brightened as she caught sight of her friend Joshua. A moment later her expression stiffened to one of polite impassivity, such as any well-bred debutante would adopt. When at last they met, Anna put out her hand. Joshua took it and bowed over it, pressing it just a little and making Anna smile.

“M-May I have the first waltz with you, Miss Higgins?” He stammered a little over the phrase he’d been practicing silently ever since arriving at the ball. That, and the other thing he wanted to tell her, which would have to wait until he had her in his arms on the dance floor.

To his surprise, rather than looking pleased and holding out the dance card tied to her wrist so he could inscribe his name in the appropriate spot, a troubled frown creased Anna’s brow and she said, “Mother has forbidden me to dance with you.”

Stunned, Joshua took a step back and said, “Why?”

Tears stood in the corners of Anna’s eyes. “Sh-she wants me to make a brilliant match, she says, and you are ineligible.”

Anna gripped her hands together and turned away from Joshua. A moment later, another gentleman came to claim her for a dance.

Joshua kept his gaze focused on Anna’s back as the gentleman offered her his arm and led her away. Ineligible? That could only mean one thing. There was nothing wrong with his fortune. But he had no title. And none of what the ton referred to as good breeding. As if they were all horses!

Where was love in all this? he thought as he strode out of the ballroom, not pausing to take his leave of Anna’s Mama, Lady Perkins.

So, even with my planning, I only discovered something I should have anticipated in the actions of the scene: Anna’s dance card. I could assume that any reader of Regency romance would assume she had one, or I could prepare it better ahead of time.

There are plenty of other things wrong with this scene, but we’ll let that pass. 😂

Now it’s your turn!

Exercise

Take your test scene and “choreograph” the moment your two characters interact with each other. Make sure it illustrates or reflects the change inherent in the scene.